As heard on radio...

"Love is friendship set to music."

Not bad. :)

The pursuit of happiness

I don't even know how or where she learnt it, but baby Aish seems to have quite a good concept of 'happiness' and 'sadness'. When prompted to do some monkey-giri just for the amusement of her mausi at the other end of the line, she often responds positively when told, "If you sing, Mausi will become happy."

When I was in the US, I knocked my knee against something and was rubbing it when she came and said, "Mausi, don't be sad." even though I wasn't looking sad. (I just wasn't grinning at her as usual.)

Also, when I was packing to come back to Singapore, she was getting very upset, and kept saying, "Don't go, don't go back to Singapore!" It was only when my sister told her "If Mausi doesn't go back to Singapore, Mausa will become sad." that she calmed down and allowed me to come back.

Now that she's in India, she seems to be spreading the "happy thoughts" there too. In a rather odd way though. It seems that when Mom makes rotis, Aish observes her very closely. She looks at the ones that puff up real nice and says, "That's a happy roti!" and the ones that do not puff up are "sad rotis".

The right pick

She looked around at the crowd around her. "Unbelievable..." She shook her head and muttered to herself. But she needed the crowd for the work she was about to do. She scanned each face carefully, looking for the right one. She kept looking, ignoring the advice of the voices in her head that said, "You don't have to actively look for them, that will draw too much attention and the whole thing could backfire. If you scare them away, you will never be able to achieve anything. Just relax, okay? They will come to you on their own, trust us. You're getting a bit psychotic and obsessive about this, you know. It doesn't have to be such a dramatic battle in your head first. You're not the only person who does this. There are many people out there who do this on a daily level. If it has to happen, it will. If not, you just go about your usual business and come back."

She didn't agree. "I have to find them myself." She thought. There had been times she had failed and felt miserable. When she felt that the target was within arm's reach and yet, she couldn't do anything because of the sea of people between the target and her. She scanned the crowd once more, looking for the right one. It had to be someone old and frail, preferably a retiree. Any younger and/or stronger and yes, the whole thing could backfire. Preferably someone holding a large heavy bag, she thought. She looked at the people around her and shook her head in disapproval. None of them were suitable.

And finally, after a long long time, she found the perfect target, standing just a few feet away. Very old. Completely white hair. Very thin and frail. He was holding a large white plastic bag, and looked like he was struggling with the weight. "That's the one. Finally." She smiled to herself. And the best part was --- even though he was not looking at her, he was walking right towards her.

She got up, tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, and said as the bus rocked again, "Uncle, you can have my seat."

Ajab Ranbir Ki Ghazab Kahani

Even though it was released 15 years ago, Andaz Apna Apna stands tall and proud on my list of the funniest Bollywood movies. As I followed Rajkumar Santoshi's subsequent movies over the last decade or so, I wondered a la the joker, "Raju, why so serious?" Like many AAA fans, I secretly wished for a sequel of AAA and I wished he'd made it when the two Khans were still err... normal. Now, of course it's too late. Both Aamir and Salman have gone kinda bonkers, and not in a good way.

So when I entered the theatre to watch Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani last night, I kept my expectations low. After all, the comedy these days is of a different kind, and the comedy of those days would not work today. My favourite reviewer Raja Sen had warned that one would enjoy the movie only if he/she watched it with 80s-tinted glasses. And boy, was I glad I did.

Maybe Santoshi was waiting. Waiting for little Ranbir to grow up so he could make this movie. Because in this age, only he could have done the kind of justice that the character of Prem needed. It was only Ranbir that could take us back to the days of AAA and make us laugh out loud at things that we would otherwise roll our eyes at. Be it him flying through the air and making laddoos in his mithaiwala cape, or saying "Chalo hum log plate dhote hain" to his mother or saying "Tere thigh muscles loose ho gaye hain!" when Katrina spots him holding Sallu's leg and pleading, or casually asking his mother if she'd seen his 'top' (and even casually slipping it on!) or telling Jesus how the angry Shankar Bhagwaan's third eye will make him go 'phussssssss' or just the way he calls out 'Salluuuu' when Katrina eggs him to call out to 'his close friend Salman Khan'.

The movie is not all slapstick though. There are some very clever lines and scenes that just make you wish they'd pause the movie so you could finish laughing before you got ready for the next scene.

In spite of the predictable storyline, it's the AAA feel that makes it a delightful fun fest. The movie works because of the scenes and not because of the story. Even though some of them are so over the top you can't see the top anymore.

Even Salman Khan, who is barely tolerable these days, evoked hysterical laughter when he said, "Jaise meri girlfriend ko apni bata raha hai?" Maybe all the three brothers should stick to guest appearances. Remember the delightful Sohail and Arbaaz in Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na?

Katrina Kaif does what she does best - sit pretty and spout a few lines every now and then in her accented hindi. It is easy to tolerate her because of two things -- first of all, she is so damn pretty it's almost distracting, and secondly, Ranbir is so damn good in the movie that at times it seems like no one else matters. That is one talented kid and he's gonna go places. Good job, Rishi and Neetu!

Viv and I had just watched 'Wake up Sid' some time ago and absolutely loved it too. It feels good to finally like an actor who is so good you can safely watch every movie with him in it. In fact, when the movie ended, Viv turned to me and said, "Do you think we should watch Saawariya?"

Yup, we're fans. Fans who can't wait for 'Rocket Singh - Salesman of the Year' to release.

PS: Just when I thought Katrina Kaif had the worst Hindi diction on the planet, Upen Patel opened his mouth.

Remember me?

"Hi, what's up?" Said my sister when I called. She's in India now, along with bro-in-law and baby Aish.

"Yeah hi, etc." I said. "Does she still remember me???"

"Huh??"

"Does Aish still remember me???"

"Of course she does!" said my sister.

"Are you sure? Are you very sure?"

"Sigh. Again?!"

Yep, my sister thinks I'm being paranoid.

"She just met you like two weeks ago. Why would she forget you? Why do you keep asking that??"

"Because she's only three. Because she's only going to see me once a year (if I'm lucky). Because she's constantly surrounded by new people and new things. Of course she'll forget me." I lamented.

"Trust me, she won't. She talks about you every day."

"Really? What did she say today?"

"Well, I was using your face powder that you'd left behind, and she yelled at me."

"Hahaha! She yelled at you?! What did she say??"

"She said, 'Mama, put that back! It's not yours. It's Mausi's!!'."

I beamed.

Not just at how Aish was learning to throw back the words thrown at her, but at the fact that she remembered me.

And that she stood up for me and my face powder.

What (c)rap!

I took this video atop the Prudential Tower in Boston of two immigration officers rapping about American citizenship. I'm not quite sure if they meant this to be serious stuff, but it's T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E and H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S at the same time!



I've typed out the "lyrics" below the video.

"So you want to be US citizen?
No problem, step up to Immigration!
Before you become part of the US of A
Now you and I shall complete a little survey.
Don't be insulted, it's just a few questions.
But people must be consulted
Through what we call the constitution.
We might look tough, we might make you angry.
But we do this stuff to protect our home and country.
Who are you? Where are you from?
Where have you been? What have you done?
We need to know about you, that's no big fuss.
And you also need to learn about us.
What's your date of birth and address?
What's the Congress?
Are you crazy, violent or running away?
Are you trying to get in illegally?
Who's the father of this country?
Do you know what is Flag Day?
Are you a drug trafficker?
Do you have a social security number?
Now what is the declaration of Independence?
Are you ready to pledge allegiance?
Have you been declared legally incompetent?
Now do you know who was the first president?
Have you been a patient in a mental institution?
Can you talk about the constitution?
Have you been to war against the US of A?
Are you ready to fight for your new country?
What do you know about our history?
What are Texas, Delaware and New Jersey
In this country do you know anybody?
Where are you going? Got any money?
In God we trust, So in return you must
have good intentions to be part of our great nation
It's the home of the brave, the land of the free
The world that's great, the land of opportunity
It's a privilege to become a citizen
It's a privilege to be called an American!"

***

I think I should write one for Singapore! ;)

A flour-y tale

So we're at the supermarket when Viv gets into 'Viv mode'. It's the mode when he grins to himself so hard you know he's bursting to tell one of his "jokes". So I decide to put him out of his misery.

Me - All right, fine. Out with it.

Viv (grinning) - What do you call flour that has no parents?

Me - Huh? Flour that has no parents?? What the..?!

Viv (grinning harder) - Come on. Tell me. What do you call flour that has no parents?

Me - I.. don't know!

Viv points to something. I look in that direction and what do I see?

This.

(S)no(w) kidding

So I was having lunch at the Cheesecake Factory (as an ardent fan of the show 'The Big Bang' theory, I simply had to go there for a matha-teko when I was in the US), when this waiter said to me, "So it's gonna snow on Friday, eh?"

"Huh?" Was my very friendly response.

"I heard that it's gonna snow on Friday!" He said, excitedly.

"You heard that it's gonna snow on Friday???" I asked.

"Yeah, isn't that awesome?"

"Hahahaha!" I laughed. My exact thoughts were: People in the US are so funny. They like to talk so much, they'll say anything!

He gave me a "Have-you-gone-mad-you-already-insane-woman-I'm-serious-and-I'm-hurt-by-your-laughing' look. (Yeah, that's one complicated look.)

"Err... Wait, you're not kidding me?!" I asked.

"No! It's gonna snow on Friday!"

"Serious? You believe that??" Pardon me, but I have never been big on weather forecasts.

"Serious!"

He went on to tell me that he was from Florida and he had just moved to Boston the day before. He had never seen snow in his life and was really excited about Friday.

I cast aside all thoughts of taking his menu and gently patting his head with it in a 'Oh you poor poor dhakkan' gesture. I didn't want to break his heart. He looked so earnest and sincere, believing that it was going to snow in the middle of fall. Believing that one could forecast on Wednesday that it would snow on Friday. In the middle of October.

"Well, I hope you get your snow on Friday!" I said to him, as I left.

"Thanks!" He smiled.

Oh the poor poor guy, I thought to myself. Was he in for a disappointment or what.

***

So when I opened the window that Friday morning and looked out, here's why I couldn't stop smiling.

Sabka rab ek hai

One of the bar's bewdas TMaYaD sent me this really cool video. A contestant at Taiwan Super Idol sings a Hindi song 'Tujh mein rab dikhta hai'.

Watch it. It's adorable.

Making the connection

"Hi, Aish!!!!" I was ecstatic. I was looking at my niece after almost 3 years! The last time I had seen her she was 6 months old and I was trying to teach her John Abraham 101.

Baby Aish gave me a confused look.

I was heartbroken.

"Don't you recognise me, baby???" I asked.

No answer. She gave me an uncertain look.

"Why doesn't she recognise me????" I asked my sister.

"She was a baby when she last saw you." Smiled my sister.

"But she speaks to me on the phone every day!"

"But she hasn't seen you in 3D. She has seen your pictures and heard your voice. We need to connect all of it."

"How?"

"There's a process."

"A process??"

"Yes. Watch."

My sister took out a photo album of Aish's baby pictures.

"She loves looking at her baby pictures. She looks at these pictures every other day."

She flipped through the album and stopped at a picture of a 3-day-old Aish and me.

"Who is this, Aish?" She pointed at Aish in the picture.

"This is me!" She said.

"And who is this?" My sister pointed at me in the picture.

"Mausi!" said Aish promptly (and quite happily, I must add).

"Good!" said sister. "And who is this?" She pointed at me. The 3D me.

Aish looked at me, still a bit confused. My sister pointed to the picture again. Aish looked at the picture, then at me, then at the picture, assessing carefully.

Suddenly, she pointed to the picture and then at me, and yelled out gleefully, "Same same! Matching matching!"